Some of the most iconic pop culture films have come from the 80's and this is at the top of the list. This is probably one of the stupidest films ever made (next Sex And The City 2), but when it lacks intelligence, it makes up in charm. That and Phoebe Cates showing off her goods in that little red bikini.
 The story shows the different struggles of high schoolers beginning with the tale of Stacy Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh). All she wants to do is to crack that hard candy shell known as her virginity like every other 15 year old at the time. She's so desperate to become the queen of pleasure that she even takes a lesson on BJs by using a carrot at lunch. Although she didn't succeed at the deep throat section, she at least gets a round of applause. Other misadventures include that of her brother, Brad, who goes from top dog with the hot girl, to working an even crappier job (in a pirate costume, no less) and jerking it in the bathroom and being walked in on. Add some friendly stoners looking for a good time, a guy just trying to get the girl he loves, guys trying to pass off as players when really are virgins themselves, and Pat Benatar look alikes (there are three!) and you have yourself a bitchin' movie.
 Normally, this isn't the style of how I'd review a film, however this is different. I was just so enthralled by the entertainment that I couldn't give a damn about camera angles and if the soundtrack fit the scene. What I enjoyed most about the film was that it was really like going back to high school. A lot of people think like the characters in the sense that if you're not a slut doing it with everything that walks (who happens to be cute), you're nothing. If you're a senior, you have no time for long term relationships, you need to sow your oates RIGHT NOW. And if you got stoned just before school, wouldn't you order a pizza too?
  Though there is a huge generation gap, I think high schoolers today could totally relate. That and I love the fact that two major stars in this film grew up to having Oscars.

Like a lot of people out there, I'm broke 99 percent of the time. And when I do get around to watching new movies, it's usually a good ten months after it's been on DVD. After waiting forever for the chance to watch Kick Ass, I finally did. The verdict is I'm even more in love with super hero movies than I've ever been (expect for Spider Man, Toby MacGuire is too whiny). I love the idea that a 16 year old nobody would risk his life to be what he's always dreamed of as a child (and in a SCUBA SUIT no less!). Even though most readers have probably seen this a million times, I will reemphasis why this is a kick ass movie.
What gets me a lot of the time is a really good plot line. Most teens only think of a few things: their genitals, their friends, stuff of interest and of their genitals some more. Dave Lizewski is not like most teens (though he thought of his genitals enough to masturbate to naked tribal women). He questions why is that we love comic book heroes, but normal people never become them? But instead of bitching about it, he does it! And it's not as if he's super smart or strong either. He's just an average guy who just believes in following his dreams. But this movie is more then just a teen trying to find his place in the world. Revenge has consumed someone to the point of obsession. Drugs and crime run in the family. This film has unexpected layers and I enjoy peeling them back one at a time.
The soundtrack, for the most part, was pretty typical for an action/comedy. There were lots of tones and beats that belonged in a Japanese video game. Only one song really made an impress on me. When Hit Girl began to slay gangsters as if they were flies on the wall, Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" began to play. Too many movies play this song when something bad ass is going on, but for some reason, it fits. The high energy mixed with blood splatter made me want to pick up a weapon and a purple wig. It may be cheesy, however what movie doesn't have one?

Watch the Kick Ass 2 trailer here

The shots throughout the film were nothing to scream about. During every driving scene, the angles were going so fast that I thought I was going to vomit. Nothing was really special about the way things were presented to me and that was disappointing because I was hoping to be wowed. With a creative film, there needs to be a creative way to show it because how many people enjoy sitting still to watch one thing for an hour and a half? As a director, you always aim to have the audience on the edge of their seat, whether it's for suspense, laughter, or tears. A good piece of advice my high school director gave me was that the devil is in the details and I couldn't agree more with her in this case.

I think my favorite thing about this film was the acting. I mean it's not like this was an Oscar nominee or anything, but they weren't just sitting around, twiddling their thumbs either. Everyone had an energy about them that didn't wanna stop. Dave (Aaron Johnson) wasn't your typical whiny kid. Yeah he whined, but what kid doesn't? He was a loser, unknown to the girl of his dreams, and a target for regular muggings. Aaron made me feel sorry for Dave, but he also made me wanna believe that even though I may not be the smartest, or the strongest, that I can still get my plus sized ass in a spandex leotard and become a hero. I think we lose that as we get older, the ability to believe that we really can do anything because we've become jaded over the years. I also loved how he convinced the girl of his dreams that he was gay so that they could spend time together. To sit through a lot of complaining over sexual harassment, "does my ass look fat" comments, and helping to rub in self-tanner on her naked back is what I call devotion. But my favorite, above all else, was Chloe Grace Mortez as Hit Girl/Mindy. How many little girls do you know that can say the "c" word without the fear that they're going to be sent to their room without dessert? She even took a bullet to the chest and thought that was awesome. If I ever had a daughter, I'd want her to grow up to like her because little girls only wanna play with barbies and dream of boys and Mindy would rather polish a semi-automatic weapon than touch lipstick. We need more of those girls. I also have to give kudos to Nicholas Cage. I loved how Cage was sporting a porn stache the whole time and how his voice was almost in a sweet whisper. And when I say "sweet", I mean the kind of sweet that almost hurts your tooth because it has too much sugar. His character was just fun all the way through and I wish he'd play more characters like that so that way he can actually have a career.

As I've said, I've loved this film and for those of you who haven't had a chance to watch it, need to. I just pray that a sequel will be in the near future!
 

Spoiler Alert: the bitch lets go. I'm sorry, but who in their right mind wants to see this in 3D? Oh, wait, women (and men) who still have wet dreams over Leonardo DiCaprio (personally, I'd love to see Kate Winslet's breasts in my face, but that could just be me). Is James Cameron still pissed that his ex-wife beat him out for Best Picture that he has to re-release his Oscar winner in order to feel like a man? We all know what happens in the end, what's the point? It's not like he can win another Oscar for this movie. Seriously, I'm just sick of the hype over something that has been on DVD for over 10 years! Plus, I don't think my ears could take anymore Celine Dion. Don't get me wrong, I, similar to many other sex deprived women, love this film, however I don't like to be reminded that I will never get to have a glorious evening with Leo (or Kate for that matter). But for those of masochists out there, break out the tissues and chocolate this April fourth for the retelling of one of the greatest love stories in American cinema.

House of Horrors... Not

  Critics have called Silent House the reinvention of the horror genre. Apparently children in Scream masks can scare these guys too. If you wanna pee your pants from pure fright, this is not that movie.
  The plot is generic: cute, paranoid girl and unsuspecting dad are fixing up their broken down house when they get trapped inside and are hunted down by an unknown predator. Ooh haven't seen that before. Even while watching the film with a bunch of obnoxious pre-pubescent children, the dialogue felt tired. "Oh Daddy, there's a noise upstairs! Please check it out!" she will cry out in unconvincing fright. "Sure honey, I will look. Just stay here and you'll be fine," he says, unbeknownst to him that death is around the corner. Please, you may as well tattoo your forehead with: " I'm an open target for murder" since no one has thought to carry some sort of weapon throughout most of the film!
  What was fresh, however, were the sounds and music selected. Sometimes I heard low drumming or a morose harmony, but it heightened the fear because sounds and music are key factors in creating an eerie atmosphere. This is were I will give them kudos. A lot of overzealous sound directors will throw dark melodies or haunting tones left and right, drowning the actual acting, however this director kept things simple. When things actually appeared to be scary on screen (and trust me, there weren't a lot of those moments), the music highlighted the feelings the actors were attempting to convey, rather than carry the scene for them. What I liked most was that each footstep, uncapped beer, and door slam was crystal clear. What makes people jump out of their seats is a nice loud bolt (especially when it's unexpected) and for that, I tip my hat.
  Another thing that impressed me was the way they shot this. To capture a performance in real time is watching a continuous shot. Yes, in the beginning, there wasn't a lot going on, but towards the end with all the running and diving under tables to avoid being abducted, I was astonished. The actors had to practice extremely hard in order to make sure every scene was as perfect as it humanly could. Plus the shot, itself, was fluid, almost as if we were looking through the eyes of someone lurking in the corner, puzzled by what's going on. And even though not all shots were clear, it made me feel as if I were in the midst of the chaos, blinded by pure terror and motivated with adrenaline to zip through the house like a rocket. Though, to be honest, I was more excited than anything.
  I will not say that about the acting however.
   Elizabeth Olsen is the idea "cute/paranoid" mixture. Those big green eyes are something of a wonder and her lips.... don't get me started on those lips. And everything in her body read hesitation. But for the most part, all she could do was cry and scream. The character lacked personality (other than that of a "Daddy's girl"); it's a script issue mainly, but it's the actress's job to make them pop. Her expressions didn't captivate me enough to watch her (in fact, I often stared at her chest because I was that bored) and that's what it's all about in horror. To mention the others would like noticing faded wallpaper: boring and time-consuming. Though the script was without depth on all their parts, they still didn't measure up to anything worth while. It's a damn shame. If the director had taken his time on the basic fundamentals of the film, then maybe I could say it was good, but he needs to go back to film school.
  Like I mentioned in the beginning, this is not a urine inducing film. In fact, this is not a movie worth full price admission. However, if you are the type who has too much free time and an acquired taste for mediocre films, wait for the dollar theater showing and enjoy.
 

First review on an upcoming movie: MIB is Back in Action
For the most part, when the second film flops, the third will follow suit, however I don't get that feeling when it comes to Men In Black 3 (it's because hot dames and cheesy goodbyes weren't in this trailer). No, the men are back and the world is about to get pimp slapped with a headache inducing conundrum: Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) has been dead for over 40 years, making his partnership with Agent J (Will Smith) non-existent. Now you may be thinking that the writers have stepped into Twilight Zone territory, but like a good magician, this movie has a lot of tricks up it's sleeve. Now J must travel back to the psychedelic world of 1969, figuring out well kept secrets and how to save the lives of K and the universe. Mix in some always enjoyable alien battles across the City of New York, Andy Warhol (who's actually an an undercover agent!), and Josh Brolin as the forever surly 29 year old Agent K and I think we got ourselves a movie to look forward to on Memorial Day weekend.